It’s been about a year since this pandemic marathon started. How are you doing?
Up and down? Sick of it all? Hanging in there?
I wanted to share a bit about my last three months, in case it helps you in some way.
The combination of another health challenge (shingles), pandemic stress, anxiety over our divided country… plus burnout from working my businesses extra hard during the holiday shopping season while I was sick absolutely kicked my butt. Some days, I could only get out of bed for 2-3 hours before crashing.
I considered quitting my businesses… because how can I possibly run them if I’m sick so much?
I cried. I rested. I questioned everything in my life.
I felt hopeless. Got angry at my body. Blamed myself.
Then I dug deeper.
I’ve lived with various chronic illnesses for decades, since I was a kid. I believe they’re tied to some unresolved childhood trauma that I’m finally working through in therapy.
I believe they’re my body’s way of telling me to listen to it, take care of it, and slow down. Illness is how it expresses the internal anxiety that I just recently discovered has been humming in the background my whole life.
I’m still not at 100% and I’m still desperately trying to find that balance between getting things done and resting without feeling guilty.
I know we are ALL going through stuff with this pandemic. And I see how life’s “usual” hard times are magnified during this season. Please know that you are not alone, take good care of yourself, and get help if you need it.
- If you are in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) or text MHA to 741-741.
- If you are not in crisis, but need to talk to someone, my partner, @mentalhealthamerica can help you find a warmline. Warmlines connect you with trained support staff to help address your current situation. Go to mhanational.org/warmlines to find a warmline near you.